The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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