There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize