things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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