It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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