I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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