You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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