her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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