Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
