Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
