when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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