Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
