i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize