Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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