There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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