She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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