I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
