During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
