if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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