I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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