I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
