I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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