And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
