The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
