god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
