so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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