Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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