I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize