the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
honey bunches of taint.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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