She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it's like iHOP with fire
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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