What a fucking waste of an outfit
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."