In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
