Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?