Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
