Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  youve hit the jackpot

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  (540): she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out (803): youve hit the jackpot http://tfl.nu/tr3l
  Replies (50) Good night (16642) Bad night (942)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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  (541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv
  Replies (32) Good night (1050) Bad night (5074)
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  (974): View more from

  You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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  (974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it. http://tfl.nu/orv6
  Replies (28) Good night (7980) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

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  (978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis http://tfl.nu/3jq7
  Replies (8) Good night (975) Bad night (3989)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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  (732): My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore http://tfl.nu/2pmj
  Replies (38) Good night (5259) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  the room spins SO much faster in panama

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  (513): the room spins SO much faster in panama http://tfl.nu/zlx7
  Replies (5) Good night (2521) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Come on man nobody wants to admit that

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  (925): Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night? (1-925): Come on man nobody wants to admit that http://tfl.nu/8oz0
  Replies (7) Good night (3059) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.

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  (413): Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/hq06
  Replies (5) Good night (1061) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He's going to be my graduation present to myself.

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  (618): He's going to be my graduation present to myself. http://tfl.nu/441i
  Replies (3) Good night (1283) Bad night (430)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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  (308): I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!! http://tfl.nu/47bh
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I hate that we are older than the real world people now

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  (949): I hate that we are older than the real world people now http://tfl.nu/6lpg
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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  (520): You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha. http://tfl.nu/0ooa
  Replies (3) Good night (523) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.

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  (925): All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room. http://tfl.nu/psmm
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina

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  (808): You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina http://tfl.nu/l91f
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do

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  (616): Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do http://tfl.nu/yi0d
  Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (303)

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