is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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