I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
