Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
