Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
