My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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