he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize