I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
