If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
