Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
