I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
