I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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