We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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