My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize