Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
