As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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