Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
