It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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