How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
