am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Who died my cat blue again?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
