He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
