I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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