WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
