can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?