Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.