Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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  (732): i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!! http://tfl.nu/t5uq
  Replies (80) Good night (7589) Bad night (2728)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings

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  (603): A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings http://tfl.nu/n8bz
  Replies (24) Good night (4212) Bad night (728)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.

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  (616): So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together. http://tfl.nu/gv0c
  Replies (7) Good night (6593) Bad night (1727)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.

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  (404): It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated. http://tfl.nu/7ila
  Replies (6) Good night (3007) Bad night (727)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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  (816): apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom http://tfl.nu/n80z
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (1663)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.

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  (352): She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look. http://tfl.nu/0p9m
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (1580)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.

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  (214): ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room. http://tfl.nu/r3lr
  Replies (11) Good night (502) Bad night (1291)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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  (864): Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being. http://tfl.nu/1bas
  Replies (7) Good night (948) Bad night (1068)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!

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  (205): A beer is a heart your wish makes!!! http://tfl.nu/w148
  Replies (4) Good night (1439) Bad night (569)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?

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  (719): Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/wrx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1362) Bad night (561)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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  (205): i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets. http://tfl.nu/hykz
  Replies (3) Good night (1180) Bad night (544)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (841) Bad night (423)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...

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  (407): Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school... http://tfl.nu/m7rc
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (425)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86

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  (775): note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86 http://tfl.nu/7n4b
  Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (380)
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  (315): View more from New York

  She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.

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  (315): She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight. http://tfl.nu/lw42
  Replies (7) Good night (310) Bad night (730)

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