Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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  (443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209
  Replies (9) Good night (2929) Bad night (921)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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  (651): Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how http://tfl.nu/5k4d
  Replies (43) Good night (1336) Bad night (4208)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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  (205): I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed http://tfl.nu/lr4z
  Replies (18) Good night (2112) Bad night (3975)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

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  (954): My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this? http://tfl.nu/pvqp
  Replies (43) Good night (4818) Bad night (2316)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.

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  (540): Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed. http://tfl.nu/420i
  Replies (19) Good night (1558) Bad night (3951)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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  (302): Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children. http://tfl.nu/9yhs
  Replies (3) Good night (2953) Bad night (1008)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night

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  (+44): Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night http://tfl.nu/2ujl
  Replies (2) Good night (2092) Bad night (1031)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4692) Bad night (937)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?

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  (403): When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain? http://tfl.nu/0j3p
  Replies (13) Good night (5096) Bad night (949)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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  (303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0
  Replies (9) Good night (3957) Bad night (1383)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.

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  (604): So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk. http://tfl.nu/87wr
  Replies (14) Good night (3025) Bad night (800)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!

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  (412): The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!! http://tfl.nu/4cxl
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (1047)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.

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  (570): Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends. http://tfl.nu/utpt
  Replies (5) Good night (377) Bad night (871)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.

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  (603): If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it. http://tfl.nu/n6dm
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (329)
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  (213): View more from California

  idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.

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  (213): idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot. http://tfl.nu/1auj
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (284)

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