I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.