Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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(650): View more from California

Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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(203): View more from Connecticut

no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up

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(917): View more from New York City

i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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(217): View more from Illinois

I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes

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