I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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