my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just fell off a train. Bad.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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