He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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