ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
