last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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