I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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