The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize